struggling

I am struggling this morning with what to write.  I am struggling to find words as my heart is breaking for the Pearson/Teschke family.  My friend Lindsey somehow managed to write exactly what I am feeling today (you can read her blog here) and I'm not sure it is even worth trying to recreate.  Just know that Paxten is sitting next to Jesus with a leukemia-free body.  She is not struggling with breathing tubes and is no longer in pain.  She and her family managed to glorify God and to bring so many people (many who didn't even know them) closer to Jesus.   Please take time to pray for this family as they come to terms with their loss.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have troubles.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."  John 16:33

Normal

This is a picture of Libby Pearson painting her daughter's nails.  In Libby's Caring Bridge post she talks about how much it meant to her to be able to do something "normal" with Paxten.  

I don't know about you, but I often take "normal" for granted.  I wake up to P yelling my name and have the luxury of cuddling with him before we tackle the day.  I get to run around and chase him playing football or see the joy on his face when we're at the park.

After reading Libby's words and seeing this picture, I am making a promise to never take "normal" for granted again and to cherish every moment.

Oh, and always...Praying for Paxten.

Sometimes we forget

This morning I woke up exhausted and feeling sorry for myself because I was exhausted....then I checked my email.  What I found was another update for Paxten Pearson.  The 22 month-old daughter of high school friends who is fighting for her life.  She had a bone marrow transplant about 25 days ago and is now struggling with pneumonia and other complications.  She's just a baby.

Sometimes we forget that the world doesn't revolve around us.  Sometimes we forget that there is something bigger out there that matters more.  Sometimes thinking of this little girl keeps me up at night so I cannot imagine the emotional and physical exhaustion that Paxten's parents are feeling.  The strength of faith they have shown is inspiring.  They do not let set-backs stop their prayers and have therefore inspired everyone who has ever known or heard about them to pray also.

I am not really sure who or how many people will read this, but if you do, please take a moment to pray for this sweet baby girl.

You can learn more about her story here...http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/paxtenpearson/journal

So Thankful...

I am thankful...so thankful.  We are so blessed.  Blessed to have a family who loves us enough to skype during Thanksgiving dinner (hint, hint:); blessed to have American friends to celebrate Thanksgiving (Saturday); blessed to have new friends; blessed to have old friends who are there when we need to talk.

More than anything we are blessed to have each other.  I am blessed to have a husband who completes me and understands when I am crazy, or emotional...or both.  Together,  we are so blessed to have Parker...the best little man we could have ever imagined.

Here a few pictures to help the grandparents feel grateful too:)!

Swinging with Daddy.

Awww, I'm not ready for him to use the big swing!

P's attempt to put on his own hat!

A test

Today I read this...


"When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life.  Even the smallest incident has significance for your character development.  Every day is is an important day and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God."
-The Purpose Driven Life

When you become a mom, you start to think of every second as an opportunity to make sure your child is loved, cared for and thriving.  Every day you have another "test" of your patience, ability, and sanity.  You constantly worry that your actions are affecting your child's well-being, happiness, even personality, and every new milestone or endeavor they work through is another test for you.   Today, my test was of the potty-training kind.   Up until this morning, Parker had gone 2 days without a diaper (except at night) and no accidents.  This morning we had two...within an hour.  After giving Parker his third bath of the day, we were off to meet Kat for lunch.  I decided to let P wear "bi boi underwear" again (yes, misjudgment on my part).  Needless to say...this is how we went to lunch...

P wanted to wear his new wellies so he could splash in the puddles.

And this is how we left...

So we have officially had our "accident in public" incident (everyone has to have one of these...right?) I'm not sure if I handled these accidents as well as I should have, but I didn't get mad...or cry.  I hope that I demonstrated love when I was frustrated and smiled when I kind of wanted to cry.   Let's just say that I hope I passed this test without doing anything now that completely screws him up later (within reason).

P is 2!!!

It has been a long couple of weeks, and most importantly, Brady's dad is doing much better and was awake and coherent before we had to leave.  I have so much to tell you about our time back in KS, but I want to dedicate this post to Parker.  I cannot believe that our self-proclaimed "big guy" is two.  He has been the highlight of our lives for 730 days and I can barely remember what we did with ourselves before he arrived.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I started this blog, originally named "shocked and knocked up" (my mom was really proud).  Every time I write a new post about Parker, I think about him reading them someday and hopefully, realizing how much he is loved.  I often wonder what he will think of the original name and wonder why we were so shocked.  I want him to know that I was shocked in part because my biggest fear was being unable to have children and his arrival (however unplanned) erased that fear.  Those five (or six) positive tests meant that I was going to be a mother and I would get to see Brady be a dad. Brady and I still smile thinking about how God's timing is so much better than our own. Feeling him grow inside of me brought my faith to a whole new level and when he was born I learned the meaning of miracles.   He has made every moment since then a blessing (yes, even the all-night teething, poop on the floor kind of moments:).   I can't believe that he is now two and can't wait to continue to watch him grow!

Here is a look back at how far we have come!! (there are a lot of pictures here...I promise if you scroll down far enough you'll see some 2nd birthday pics!)

In case you can't tell, the scale says 9lb 1oz...seriously, he looks like a 3 month old here!

1st football game!

First Thanksgiving.

First Christmas

first obscene gesture...ha

baptism

best friends

learning to crawl...backwards

First birthday

again...first birthday

I'm ONE!

1st pumpkin patch

football season #2

First family halloween costumes

The famous owl hat...:)

Football

First time crying when he met Santa

first bow-tie

First time realizing he could climb into the tub himself...too bad he had clothes and slippers on...

first pair of wristbands...he really likes accessories so I'm sure it won't be our last...:)

Scuba Steve

Awww, the backpack

First time at the beach

London Eye

2nd birthday morning...jet lag + lack of food + massive fun at the football game the day before = grumpy birthday boy

Birthday breakfast with mommy and daddy.  Presents always cheer him up!

He got a wooden train set, but I could only pack the little train in our suitcase

With Gram Gram and G-Dawg at his little party at BRGR (yes, we decided the best way to celebrate would be to let him have as many truffle fries as he wanted:)

We had a little breakdown because I am an idiot and decided to hand out everyone else's cupcakes before P's.  He thought that he wasn't getting one.

He had to have the one with blue frosting.

We really needed a nap.

Grammy and P...I need a photography class.

Aunt Janae and Aunt Van

Update

I just wanted to thank everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers.  Brady and I are so grateful to have such great friends and family.  As I am writing this, there are still a lot of unknowns, however, thankfully, we are no longer worried about survival.  Wes is still unconscious so we are just waiting to find out what the long-term effects will be.  We do know that he will have a long road to recovery so we are grateful for your continued prayers.

Prayers needed

When Brady and I moved, we knew that we might have to sacrifice weddings and births, but we never considered what would happen if someone got sick. Unfortunately, we have discovered first-hand how hard it is to be half-way around the world when, scariest of all, a parent is sick. Brady's dad, Wes, has been in the hospital since Monday and early yesterday morning we made the decision to fly back. If your reading this, please say a prayer for Wes and for Brady and his brother Cortney.

Thankful...

I was so thankful to be able to go home and visit family and friends, but after we returned, I was having some trouble adjusting to life without them again.  Thankfully, a wise friend wrote a post about putting your trust in God and reminded me that I needed to stop trying to do this on my own (thank you Lindsey).  Since then, I have have started re-reading A Purpose Driven Life and trying to remind myself of all of my blessings everyday.  I am so blessed, but this is what I am most thankful for today...

Thankful for Gymboree and the chance to meet new people.

Thankful that Brady loves me unconditionally (even when I am a crazy person)

Thankful for that the church has room for me at Mommies and Toddlers.

Thankful that Parker only peed on my leg for a second before I got him back on the toilet.

Thankful that my new friend Mandy wants to go on a run this week.

Thankful that I got to talk to my parents on skype today.

Thankful that we are all healthy and safe.

Thankful that this is how my son chooses to read at the library...:)