Parker goes to Washington...

Our first major travel undertaking with a little one has now come and gone. A week before Christmas Brady, Parker, Brady's parents and I went to Washington D.C. My company party was there and my company was paying for an extra night in a hotel. We decided that this would be the perfect time to try our first family vacation. Brady's mom found out we were going and said she would come along and watch Parker during my Christmas party so it worked out perfectly!

We left our house for the airport at around 4:45 on Wednesday morning. We woke up late so this meant that Parker was screaming in the backseat while I pumped in the front (yes, this is something we do often; if you don't have a car adapter for your pump, get one, it is the ultimate tool for multitasking!) Then, we get to the airport and the parking ticket master is not working so Brady is getting super frustrated and I am trying to convince him to drop us off by the door--he didn't listen. By the time we finally parked--in the farthest spot possible--I am being a super B by making comments about how cold it is and how much easier it would have been had he dropped us off closer. It is amazing he still talks to me sometimes. After finally figuring out how to check the car seat, leaving the boarding passes at the counter, getting super-checked by security and barely making it to the gate on time, we were on our way! Parker did so good on the plane! Our doctor told us to feed him on the way up and down, but we were only able to feed him on the way up. So far Parker is the only one in our family who won't eat when he's not hungry:) I recommend bringing a plug for the landing or descent; whichever you can't feed during. The hardest part was just getting the stroller out after every flight and carrying our luggage with Parker everywhere.

We got there early enough on Wednesday night to have dinner and see the tree in front of the capital. It was beautiful, but I was kind of disappointed by the lack of decorations in DC. I know that everything has to be politically correct now, but you can't help but wonder if we have all gone overboard. Brady and his family took Parker sightseeing while I was working on Thursday and he loved the aquarium. "Parker" is in lots of pictures but his trust in us will be tested when he is older and all he sees is a stroller in every picture...."sure, Parker, you were in there...."



On the day we left, the forecast was calling for a huge snowstorm (they were right). Luckily, our flight was earlier in the day and we were able to get out of there before it started. We were not the only ones trying to get out of there. The metro was packed and we got our share of dirty looks. We were definitely those people with a stroller and five suitcases standing in the entry. I have never been so glad to finally get to the airport.

We finally got home around 11 that night. Parker was pooped and his first real vacation was over!

Is that a tissue coming out of your bra...?

Haha, I am laughing at myself right now because you just never know when you are going to become that mom. You know, the one who has baby spit up on her clothes, leaky breasts and wait for it...breast pads coming out of her sports bra--not kidding!
Running again has been a challenge. Not necessarily because I am out of shape, but because it is hard to find time when Parker is even half an hour off schedule. I did have him on the best schedule...go to sleep at 11, wake him up at 5 to eat, at the gym by 6. Then this week hit and we have been totally off. So on Monday, I was so proud of myself because I had been up since 3:30 and had gotten so much accomplished. Parker was fed, bathroom clean, laundry done. So when I went to the gym at 5:30, I was having pretty much the best "mom" day ever. That was until around mile 2 when I looked down and my breast pad was coming out the top of my v-neck shirt. It wasn't just sticking out a little, it was all the way out with just a corner still inside my shirt. Worse than that, I had run out of actual breast pads so had been cutting maxi-pads into thirds. The paper on the back of the pad was unmistakable. So, I did what any woman would do...I grabbed my maxi-pad, made room in my shirt and then pretty much grabbed my boob in front of all my early morning work out buddies!

Breakdown

It finally happened. I had been so strong and had only cried once-for just a second-since leaving Parker to go back to work, today everything changed.
I have to begin by telling you how blessed I have been. For the first two weeks after returning to work I was able to take Parker with me. It was wonderful to be with him all day, but very hard to get work done! Then, last week, Brady's mom stayed with us and watched him. This was still ok because I was able to come home and feed him during lunch. For the next three weeks, my grandma is in town from Arizona and is watching him at my parents' house. I am just so lucky that I don't have to take him to daycare until January!
This morning I was dropping Parker off with my grandma and she asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Apparently that question hit a nerve and I just started sobbing. I don't know if it was a combination of not being able to fit into anything I want to ask for yet and leaving Parker, or just the fact that I just suddenly felt overwhelmed.
Sadly, I am started to tear up just writing this down. Being a mom is the best thing ever, but sometimes it is all just a bit overwhelming. I always heard people talk about balancing work and family, but until now, I just didn't realize how hard it would be. I am constantly feeling like I am not doing anything great. When I drop Parker off I am wishing I could just stay home so I don't miss out on anything, but also really wanting to go to work. When I am at work, I am feeling like I can't get anything done because I am thinking about what he is doing and if he misses me. I don't think anyone can prepare you for what you feel and how hard this can be. I guess you just learn to do the best you can when you can.

Oh my goodness... I'm a Mom!!

So...ten months ago, I found out I was pregnant. The title of this blog tells it all; I was completely shocked. I couldn't believe that we had waited so long and then were pregnant within six months of marriage. Boy...God must have a sense of humor! Since that time, I have felt every emotion in the book: fear, joy, excitement, even anger (just ask my husband...I think even my emotions had emotions!)
Finally, about two months ago, I felt nothing but calm. I was so ready for the bug to get here!! I am still amazed at how detailed God was when he created us. I realize I needed nine months to prepare not only physically, but emotionally. I needed to get to a point where I understood this was God's plan, not mine; that He knows much better than I do. Being a mom is the most wonderful experience I have ever had--believe me, I feel as corny writing it as you do reading it, but it is true!

Before I tell you how the bug was born, you have to know that I have always believed that I would not be able to deliver naturally. My mom had to have c-sections and I have just always had this feeling that I would also; in fact, she never even went into labor. So, on September 3oth, Brady and I went to my doctor's appointment with the goal of getting him to induce me that weekend. We didn't think he would, but we figured it was worth a try because my brother was coming into town and I wanted him to be able to see the bug before he left. When we got there, I found out I had a pupps rash on my stomach--it itched, but I couldn't see below my belly button so I had no idea! This is a rash that is basically your body being allergic to being pregnant and it doesn't go away until you deliver. Because it was making me miserable, he let us use it as an excuse to induce--yay!! I have never been so thankful for my sensitive skin!

The next day, we were both so excited!! Brady took me to Sumos (my favorite) before we checked into the hospital at 7pm. They gave me a pill to get my body ready for contractions and then let me sleep; poor Brady, they gave me a sleeping pill and he had to sleep on a plastic recliner. At around 3 AM, hard contractions started. Brady held my hand the entire time. The contractions kept getting harder and harder, but I was not really dilating. They were two minutes apart around 10 AM and I asked for an epidural. I felt like such a pansy...I thought I would be able to make it longer without it, and had to have the anesthesiologist and Brady convince me that I was not a bad person for getting it. Ridiculous, I know. I can't lie, that epidural was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Around 1:00, I still was not dilating so they broke my water. They thought this would help move me along, but instead I started getting really sick around 3:00. I was running a fever around 104 and felt like I had the worst case of the flu I have ever had. The nurses kept telling us that this wasn't normal and we started to get scared. My family and Brady's mom were in the hospital room with us and everyone was just so quiet. Finally around 5:00, my doctor came in and decided he wanted to get the baby out quickly. One of the other doctors went over the risks of c-sections; I was scared. I knew that a c-section was not a big deal, but when they are telling you they are worried about the baby's health and that the c-section has a risk of death for you or the baby, you start to worry. Finally we were in the operating room and I just kept praying for the bug over and over again. Brady held my hand until we held our breath until we heard the doctor say..."it's a BOY"!! I have never loved my husband more than I did at that point. It was such a miracle. Once I heard him cry, I knew that my life would be forever better.

Parker E Alexander is the most precious miracle. Brady and I are constantly in awe of him. Things have definitely changed (more stories on this), but for the better. I am so blessed to have them both in my life!