Just add mom to the list...

I am a mom now; that is my number one priority. However, I am still Sam...the person who loves to be busy and wants to be involved and feels better when she has her hand in at least a couple of projects. Right now, I am struggling with trying to be both. Last night I went to my first Junior League meeting, and I am really excited to join, but the second it went over the time I had allotted for it in my head, I almost had a panic attack. I couldn't stop thinking about Parker and how I was going to miss feeding him before he went to bed. I felt terrible because my friend drove and had to leave right away after so that I could get home. I just don't want to miss anything or any time with Parker, but I also want to be more than just mom.

I have always known that when I had kids I wanted them to feel like the most important part of my life, but that I also wanted to continue to be involved in various activities. Not only to set an example, but also to show them that I am a whole person. I had no idea how hard this was going to be. This week I have a meeting every night and have gone into a bit of a panic mode every time someone mentions any extra time that cuts into Parker time. I don't know how to balance this. It probably doesn't help that I have been to DC for three days every two weeks for the last month and a half and will continue until the end of May. I just don't want to miss anything and am learning that is not always possible. Everyone says it will get better and I know it will, but I just hope that starts soon!