Parker goes to Washington...

Our first major travel undertaking with a little one has now come and gone. A week before Christmas Brady, Parker, Brady's parents and I went to Washington D.C. My company party was there and my company was paying for an extra night in a hotel. We decided that this would be the perfect time to try our first family vacation. Brady's mom found out we were going and said she would come along and watch Parker during my Christmas party so it worked out perfectly!

We left our house for the airport at around 4:45 on Wednesday morning. We woke up late so this meant that Parker was screaming in the backseat while I pumped in the front (yes, this is something we do often; if you don't have a car adapter for your pump, get one, it is the ultimate tool for multitasking!) Then, we get to the airport and the parking ticket master is not working so Brady is getting super frustrated and I am trying to convince him to drop us off by the door--he didn't listen. By the time we finally parked--in the farthest spot possible--I am being a super B by making comments about how cold it is and how much easier it would have been had he dropped us off closer. It is amazing he still talks to me sometimes. After finally figuring out how to check the car seat, leaving the boarding passes at the counter, getting super-checked by security and barely making it to the gate on time, we were on our way! Parker did so good on the plane! Our doctor told us to feed him on the way up and down, but we were only able to feed him on the way up. So far Parker is the only one in our family who won't eat when he's not hungry:) I recommend bringing a plug for the landing or descent; whichever you can't feed during. The hardest part was just getting the stroller out after every flight and carrying our luggage with Parker everywhere.

We got there early enough on Wednesday night to have dinner and see the tree in front of the capital. It was beautiful, but I was kind of disappointed by the lack of decorations in DC. I know that everything has to be politically correct now, but you can't help but wonder if we have all gone overboard. Brady and his family took Parker sightseeing while I was working on Thursday and he loved the aquarium. "Parker" is in lots of pictures but his trust in us will be tested when he is older and all he sees is a stroller in every picture...."sure, Parker, you were in there...."



On the day we left, the forecast was calling for a huge snowstorm (they were right). Luckily, our flight was earlier in the day and we were able to get out of there before it started. We were not the only ones trying to get out of there. The metro was packed and we got our share of dirty looks. We were definitely those people with a stroller and five suitcases standing in the entry. I have never been so glad to finally get to the airport.

We finally got home around 11 that night. Parker was pooped and his first real vacation was over!

Is that a tissue coming out of your bra...?

Haha, I am laughing at myself right now because you just never know when you are going to become that mom. You know, the one who has baby spit up on her clothes, leaky breasts and wait for it...breast pads coming out of her sports bra--not kidding!
Running again has been a challenge. Not necessarily because I am out of shape, but because it is hard to find time when Parker is even half an hour off schedule. I did have him on the best schedule...go to sleep at 11, wake him up at 5 to eat, at the gym by 6. Then this week hit and we have been totally off. So on Monday, I was so proud of myself because I had been up since 3:30 and had gotten so much accomplished. Parker was fed, bathroom clean, laundry done. So when I went to the gym at 5:30, I was having pretty much the best "mom" day ever. That was until around mile 2 when I looked down and my breast pad was coming out the top of my v-neck shirt. It wasn't just sticking out a little, it was all the way out with just a corner still inside my shirt. Worse than that, I had run out of actual breast pads so had been cutting maxi-pads into thirds. The paper on the back of the pad was unmistakable. So, I did what any woman would do...I grabbed my maxi-pad, made room in my shirt and then pretty much grabbed my boob in front of all my early morning work out buddies!

Breakdown

It finally happened. I had been so strong and had only cried once-for just a second-since leaving Parker to go back to work, today everything changed.
I have to begin by telling you how blessed I have been. For the first two weeks after returning to work I was able to take Parker with me. It was wonderful to be with him all day, but very hard to get work done! Then, last week, Brady's mom stayed with us and watched him. This was still ok because I was able to come home and feed him during lunch. For the next three weeks, my grandma is in town from Arizona and is watching him at my parents' house. I am just so lucky that I don't have to take him to daycare until January!
This morning I was dropping Parker off with my grandma and she asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Apparently that question hit a nerve and I just started sobbing. I don't know if it was a combination of not being able to fit into anything I want to ask for yet and leaving Parker, or just the fact that I just suddenly felt overwhelmed.
Sadly, I am started to tear up just writing this down. Being a mom is the best thing ever, but sometimes it is all just a bit overwhelming. I always heard people talk about balancing work and family, but until now, I just didn't realize how hard it would be. I am constantly feeling like I am not doing anything great. When I drop Parker off I am wishing I could just stay home so I don't miss out on anything, but also really wanting to go to work. When I am at work, I am feeling like I can't get anything done because I am thinking about what he is doing and if he misses me. I don't think anyone can prepare you for what you feel and how hard this can be. I guess you just learn to do the best you can when you can.

Oh my goodness... I'm a Mom!!

So...ten months ago, I found out I was pregnant. The title of this blog tells it all; I was completely shocked. I couldn't believe that we had waited so long and then were pregnant within six months of marriage. Boy...God must have a sense of humor! Since that time, I have felt every emotion in the book: fear, joy, excitement, even anger (just ask my husband...I think even my emotions had emotions!)
Finally, about two months ago, I felt nothing but calm. I was so ready for the bug to get here!! I am still amazed at how detailed God was when he created us. I realize I needed nine months to prepare not only physically, but emotionally. I needed to get to a point where I understood this was God's plan, not mine; that He knows much better than I do. Being a mom is the most wonderful experience I have ever had--believe me, I feel as corny writing it as you do reading it, but it is true!

Before I tell you how the bug was born, you have to know that I have always believed that I would not be able to deliver naturally. My mom had to have c-sections and I have just always had this feeling that I would also; in fact, she never even went into labor. So, on September 3oth, Brady and I went to my doctor's appointment with the goal of getting him to induce me that weekend. We didn't think he would, but we figured it was worth a try because my brother was coming into town and I wanted him to be able to see the bug before he left. When we got there, I found out I had a pupps rash on my stomach--it itched, but I couldn't see below my belly button so I had no idea! This is a rash that is basically your body being allergic to being pregnant and it doesn't go away until you deliver. Because it was making me miserable, he let us use it as an excuse to induce--yay!! I have never been so thankful for my sensitive skin!

The next day, we were both so excited!! Brady took me to Sumos (my favorite) before we checked into the hospital at 7pm. They gave me a pill to get my body ready for contractions and then let me sleep; poor Brady, they gave me a sleeping pill and he had to sleep on a plastic recliner. At around 3 AM, hard contractions started. Brady held my hand the entire time. The contractions kept getting harder and harder, but I was not really dilating. They were two minutes apart around 10 AM and I asked for an epidural. I felt like such a pansy...I thought I would be able to make it longer without it, and had to have the anesthesiologist and Brady convince me that I was not a bad person for getting it. Ridiculous, I know. I can't lie, that epidural was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Around 1:00, I still was not dilating so they broke my water. They thought this would help move me along, but instead I started getting really sick around 3:00. I was running a fever around 104 and felt like I had the worst case of the flu I have ever had. The nurses kept telling us that this wasn't normal and we started to get scared. My family and Brady's mom were in the hospital room with us and everyone was just so quiet. Finally around 5:00, my doctor came in and decided he wanted to get the baby out quickly. One of the other doctors went over the risks of c-sections; I was scared. I knew that a c-section was not a big deal, but when they are telling you they are worried about the baby's health and that the c-section has a risk of death for you or the baby, you start to worry. Finally we were in the operating room and I just kept praying for the bug over and over again. Brady held my hand until we held our breath until we heard the doctor say..."it's a BOY"!! I have never loved my husband more than I did at that point. It was such a miracle. Once I heard him cry, I knew that my life would be forever better.

Parker E Alexander is the most precious miracle. Brady and I are constantly in awe of him. Things have definitely changed (more stories on this), but for the better. I am so blessed to have them both in my life!

Enough with the fat comments...

Ok, so I know when I first started showing I was constantly complaining about people commenting on how big my tummy was. Well, I decided that nobody wanted to hear me complain so I stopped writing about them, however, I promise you that they did not stop! So, just so you know, I am approached daily by people who feel they have a right to comment on the size of my stomach. Usually, these are not the most flattering comments. Yesterday, I was at church and I received the typical, "you are huge," "are you sure you're due in October," "is it twins?" I know that these are all said in great fun and typically I can laugh them off, however, one woman came up to me with her niece--who is due in November--and just kept going on and on about how big my belly is and how I must be so jealous of her niece who is not showing as much as I am and is only due a month after me. It took all I had to smile, nod and laugh at myself when appropriate. When I got to the car, I made Brady assure me over and over again that it is just my belly that is big and that my belly should be big because I am having a baby (stupid, I know, but this type of affirmation works with me:).

So, long story short, I am apparently becoming more sensitive the closer it gets and beware of tears if you mention the size of my stomach. Just for laughs, I thought I would post a few of my favorite comments that I hear on a regular basis and maybe a few that I have only heard once but have become classics...

"You have to be ready to pop!"

"Are you due tomorrow?"

"All three of you are here, haha!" ha..ha..ha

"You...are...huge...!" Not kidding some people really talk slowly to give emphasis to the huge.

"Whoa!" This is one of my favorites; while I hear it often, once I was walking in Jason's Deli and turned to the side and the manager who was behind me goes, "whoa, I did not see that coming" I took it as a compliment and went on my way!

"I can't believe you fit through the door!" Not kidding, a guy at QuikTrip thought he was being funny...

"Don't worry, I gained over 60 lbs when I was pregnant." This wouldn't be so bad if she wouldn't have said it when I was only 6 months along and 12 lbs heavier...

"Were you a big baby?"


There are others, but these are the ones I hear most often. You wouldn't believe how many people feel like they can comment on your size.

Closing words...
Pregnant women are sensitive, tell them they are glowing and look cute, but never tell them they are huge!

Best Shower Ever!!!

So....I have the best best friend in the world! Jamie and Heather threw me an incredible baby shower complete with "bug" mementos everywhere! I just feel so blessed to have such great friends. We had such a fun weekend because some of the girls came down from KC on Saturday to celebrate Heather's birthday so I had a party at my house. It was so good to see everyone! Jamie, Meg, Katy and Allie definitely rocked it out on guitar hero (I got booed off the stage three times, I swear the buttons are weird), and everyone else just hung around and ate lots of food (thank goodness, I was afraid I would have lots of leftovers).

I have to also thank everyone for wearing out Piper! My cute little dog has more energy than anything I have ever seen, but luckily after everyone was there keeping her occupied, she slept through the night--wahoo!! I have to especially thank Wendy and Corbin, they had her running from one end of the house to the other like a madwoman (ok, so this isn't that far because my house is tiny)!

Sunday was my shower and it was awesome!! Jamie and Heather came up with an idea to have everyone write down advice and to bring a bead to string. Now, I have a whole book full of great advice and quotes as well as a string of bead that I can use to relieve stress during labor. They told me that it is to remind me of all the strong women who are a part of my life--isn't that awesome?!?

I have such good friends and they helped prepare Brady and I by getting us stuff we will definitely need after the bug is born. I can't lie, I was sort of afraid I wouldn't even know how to use most of it, but I think we figured it out! I am also slightly-but not really-embarrassed to admit that brady and I played with one of the toys for quite a while after I got home. Seriously, you have to try some of these things in the store and you will know why!

Mental Breakdown...almost

So, last week, Brady painted the bug's room. I was so happy that he was able to get it finished before he left! The one thing left to do was to put up the chair rail and paint it. Originally, my dad was going to help Brady last Friday, but something came up and he wasn't able to. Brady left for San Antonio on Saturday and so he couldn't do it then, but my dad and grandpa offered to do it while he was gone, yay! They put up the chair rail on Saturday morning and it looks so nice! I couldn't wait to paint it! Both Brady and my mom told me to wait until Brady got back, but I am not a very patient person and don't listen as well as I should. So of course, I decide on Sunday morning before church to do it myself. Not a smart idea. So, because I am such a smart girl, I decide to take the dog outside with me to the garage to look for the paint while talking on the phone. My first mission was to find the right gallon of paint; no problem. Then, I just had to get from inside the garage to the house carrying both the paint and the dog while talking on the phone...again, not a good idea. (Oh, and don't tell Brady I was holding the dog; I'm pretty sure his sympathy meter would go way down if he knew that!) Right as I'm opening the door, the gallon of paint falls out of my hand and opens on the garage floor. Paint is everywhere, Piper is trying to get out of my arms and my phone is starting to fall, eeeeek!! Lucky for Brady, ha, I'm talking to him on the phone while this is happening and just start balling. Not just crying, but uncontrollable sobs about what a mess it is and how I can't get it cleaned up and how I wish he was there. I have the nicest husband in the world; I still can't believe he is able to stay cool when this happens sometimes! Plus, he always knows what to say...he told me to leave the mess and go take a nap, ha. He is definitely a dad in the making!!

P.S. I didn't take a nap and I did get the trim painted, but I did not make it to church. I had paint all over me and it took forever to get it off. Actually, I still have some paint in my hair as I type this right now!

Where do I start...

I am more confused and scared now than ever. Brady and I had our first reality check this weekend...we registered. Oh my goodness, I cannot even tell you how overwhelming this experience was. It finally started to hit us that yes, we are going to need all--or at least some--of this stuff and we don't even know how to use it.

Our first endeavor was registering for a breast pump (if you could see me writing this, you would know that I giggle every time I say breast pump--real mature). There are about a thousand different kinds of breast pumps out there. You can get a single or a double, an electric or manual and then you have to choose among all of the brands available. Not only do you have so many to choose from, but the prices range from $50 to $400! Yes, I said $400 for a suction cup that sucks milk out of your boob, crazy!!! Now, I am actually one of the most frugal people you'll meet and I hate spending money, especially on a suction cup, but I am a little nervous that cheaper means more pain and more time spent locked in a bathroom during work. So, before we went, I did ask a couple of friends for recommendations; they of course all said the Medela double pump electric, aka $300, great! So, we get to Baby's R Us and Brady convinced me to register for the more expensive one (don't ask him about it because I don't know if he can even hear "breast pump" without blushing). He would die if I told you that it was his idea to go ahead and register for the breast cream and pads too...oops!

So after our adventure in the breast pump aisle we continued around the store picking out random things that either we thought we needed or the registry sheet told us we needed. Here are the highlights: 20 bottles (all different brands, sizes, colors), 6 crib sheets, 18 burping clothes, 6 snack cups (I can't lie, I am actually excited to use them for my own stash of cheerios I carry), 40 tiny little hangers, 2 strollers (getting a jogging stroller was secretly what kept me going after I first found out I was pregnant, I cannot wait to go back and get it), and two daddy bibs (Brady did this when he had the gun; one says, "my dad is cooler than your dad" and the other says, "if you think I'm cute, you should see my dad." I'm not going to lie, watching Brady register for these did make me think that my baby's daddy is pretty darn cute!) We also bought a crib while we were there. I was super excited because it is the one I wanted, but it had gone out of stock online. We got the last display model and even got a discount, wahoo!! Good thing we got a discount because the mattress ended up costing $40 more than the crib, seriously, the bug has a nice mattress than we do. We are just lucky that my parents offered to buy the crib and mattress...thanks mom and dad!

The funny thing is, that we did not even put a drop in the bucket of things that we need. I have no idea how to use most of this stuff and I really have no idea where we are going to put everything! Babies need so much stuff it is ridiculous! We are so lucky that Brady's cousin is letting us borrow a few of the bigger baby toys and the infant car seat. I am all about garage sales and borrowing right now!

All of this shopping and preparing is making me nervous. First, you buy all of this stuff and you get the nursery just right so you feel like you are ready. All of a sudden, WHAM, you have to actually bring the baby home and take care of it. You have this little person who is counting on you to survive and turn in to a decent human being, whoa, scary. We are just so blessed that we have such a great family and group of friends that can help us make sure the bug turns out ok!!

You want me to pee in that?!?!?!

Haha, so I know the title of this blog probably leaves many questions in your mind. Let me clarify, it is not as bad as it sounds. Also, I know that I was going to write about things that I think you should know, and quite honestly, I feel like this could be important!

Today I went in for my regular check up. Usually, the routine goes something like this; I get weighed (I hate this part), go in the check up room, get my blood pressure checked and hand her my pee cup. Well today I forgot to pee in a cup before I went and she had to give me one when I got there. Imagine my surprise when she handed me a cup the size of a film roll!!! Ok, I know a lot of you out there are thinking that this should not be an issue; seriously, how hard can it be to pee in the little cup? Well, let me just remind you of one thing...belly the size of a basketball! Now, imagine trying to see and "catch" with the belly in your way. Not an easy task. What made it even worse was that I was at the doctor's office and not at home so I had to try so hard to do what I needed to do without making a mess...also not an easy task. Thank goodness for my bella band I was wearing with my skirt--I used it to hold the skirt upright so that I could have all hands on deck for the task at hand. I am so glad they don't have cameras in the bathrooms!

Here is my point (I know, even I can't believe there is a point to this story). When I was back in the exam room, I told the nurse how crazy the tiny little cups were for pregnant women. She then proceeded to tell me that most women use the plastic drinking cups sitting next to the toilet to pee in first and then pour in the little cups, ingenious! I felt kind of like an idiot, but I guess I will know for next time!

The first of many things you should know...

For the entire length of my pregnancy, I have constantly received advice, tid bits and just straight up random information. For a while I was a little embarrassed to comment on any of these little tid bits, but I think it is time that the truth comes out! Today, I'm starting with one of the least embarrassing parts of being pregnant: body hair, ha.

When you first get pregnant everyone says how full your hair is going to be and how fast your nails grow, etc. I have to admit that both of these are true (although you couldn't tell in my hair because it was so fine to begin with). So far this sounds great, right? Fuller hair, long nails, that "glow", we may as well have a pregnancy pageant...not so fast; what they don't tell you is that you are not suddenly growing more hair, you are just losing less, and not just on your head. Suddenly I feel like I am constantly on the verge of a unibrow and having to tweeze every day. My next revelation of this hair business just came this morning; as I was looking down at my belly--by the way, that is all I see when I look down--I notice how hairy my big round belly is! I kind of feel like I'm now carrying a big round peach under my shirt!! Thank goodness for blond hair! I'm kind of afraid that the same thing is happening on my face so I am trying to stand farther from the mirror...kind of a sad solution, I know.

Anyway, I'm now making it my duty to share; just because I think you should know!

To run or not to run....

So, picture this...you're at the gym on a treadmill and you look beside you and see a very pregnant woman running next to you. Now, this alone would not make you laugh, but now picture that same pregnant woman with a shirt on that is slowly creeping up on her belly and she is using one hand to constantly pull her shirt down and the other to hold on to the side of the treadmill. Now you know why I get funny looks at the gym. This is my daily routine, which is kind of embarrassing. However, I really just don't care. I have convinced myself that running is what is helping to keep my ankles from swelling (watch, I say that and now they will start swelling tomorrow:) and what keeps me in shape.

Lately, a lot of people around me have started saying that I should start walking. I am so afraid to stop running. I am terrified that once I stop, I won't be able to start again after the baby is born. I know that sounds stupid, but if you are a runner, you will understand the obsessive compulsiveness I am talking about. I will be seven months next week, and until yesterday, I was convinced that if I just gradually slow down and run shorter distances, I can make it to nine months.

Well last night I received an e-mail from whattoexpect.com and it had an article talking about how you can tell if you are overdoing it. It said that you should feel the baby move twice within 30 minutes after working out. I did not feel it move until an hour after I had worked out and now I am worried sick. I am not sure what I should do and I don't want to make a mistake before the baby is even born!! So, for the next day or so I am on the hunt for any type of reading materials that have other factors for determining whether or not I am overdoing it.

So much to say!

Oh my goodness, I know I haven't written in a while, but things have been so crazy since my last post! First Brady and I travelled to Albuquerque for our friends Kenneth and Melinda's wedding. It was beautiful; they got married on the side of a mountain with a reception at a local New Mexican restaurant. They even had a mariachi band there, it was great!
After New Mexico, I headed straight for DC to start my new job. I was there for a week at the Koch Foundation learning all about free markets and Market Based Management leadership styles. I learned a ton and I am actually really excited to learn more. However, I'm not going to lie, when I received the 30 pounds of books in the mail that I have to read over the next year, I was a little overwhelmed! Oh well, they are good books and I am going to learn a lot!
After DC, I came back to Wichita and started as the new Development Director for Boys and Girls Club of South Central Kansas. This is such a great organization and I am enjoying learning everything I can so that I can be an asset for the club.
I know I just said I was at a training for Koch Foundation, but I am sort of working for both. Koch supplements my salary and I have training sessions with them once a week. They believe that Market Based Management training can help make non-profits more efficient, so that is what I'm doing!
I am just excited to have a job I enjoy!

baby bedding

Wahoo! We found and ordered bedding for the bug. Thank goodness! This is the third set of bedding that we have decided on, and we actually ordered this one! We had no idea how hard it would be to find neutral bedding that went with our white baby furniture. Most of it looked too girly, or it was completely blue. So, this is a perfect fit. I can't wait to get everything put together!!

When I grow up...

...I have no idea. I always had this idea in my head that I would graduate from college and then magically have this job that I loved. Wrong. What really happened was that I graduated in a major that I loved, but that had a reality that didn't quite follow with the rest of my dreams. I always wanted to be on the Today show, but when I finished school, I realized I wanted to be close to my family more. Ok, so I wanted to be where Brady was and I wanted to get married. Somehow moving across the country and working every weekend and holiday didn't fit into that plan, so I went on to plan b...public relations. What I didn't realize is how vague this could be and finding the right fit in the right company would take time, and apparently I didn't have as much time as I thought!

I always imagined that I would be settled in a career that I loved before I had kids. I had changed jobs and started at a university so that I could get my graduate degree for free (so lucky), and then I thought I would have plenty of time to move on from there...not!

So, here I am, 5 1/2 months pregnant and getting ready to start a new job, sounds crazy I know! I really didn't mean to plan it out so that I would be finishing grad school, starting a new job, and having a baby within 3 months, but life doesn't always go according to plan, ha! Actually, I have never felt more relieved then two weeks ago when I gave my boss my two weeks notice; I finally felt like I was on the right path to a job that I love. Soon, I will start with the Koch Associate's Program and be the Director of Resource Development for Boys and Girls Club. This is such an amazing opportunity and I hope that I can do it justice. It is kind of funny; before, I wanted to find a career that I loved for me, but now I want one that I love so that I can be a good mom. I know that sounds silly, but I have this picture in my head of being incredibly happy when the baby comes. I honestly don't think I could have completed that picture if I didn't have a job that I love, but hopefully, this will be the perfect fit!

"mommy" glow...

...not for me. Dang it. I have had many requests from friends to take pictures of my growing belly (and believe me, it is growing every day), but I'm a little hesitant because what people might see is a giant strawberry. My whole life I've had eczema, and no, as my friend Mel once asked, it is not contagious, ha! However, it does have a habit of making my eyelids look swollen and dry and scaley. This doesn't happen all of the time, but it is often enough that I often go to work with no makeup to let it heal. Lately, it has been a different story. My entire face is constantly swollen, dry and pealing. It has gotten so bad that people have constantly been asking how I feel. When I respond, "fine," they always go, "oh," like really, are you sure? So I have learned to follow up with some response about my allergies driving me crazy, that usually seems to satisfy them.

This week, it finally got to me, I'd had enough and realized that this is not normal so I went to the doctor. She couldn't believe that I had waited so long to come in; she said it was terrible and that usually with cases this severe they use steriods, but that was out of the question because of the bug. She also told me that some people get lucky and babies make their skin beautiful, others, like me, get the raw end of the deal where the baby makes everything 10 times worse than it was. So now I have four different ointments on my face and hopefully it will start to look normal; maybe I will even get that "mommy" glow!

Whoa...slow down!

Lately, I can't help feeling like I am one step behind where I should be. When I first found out I was pregnant, I felt like, "8 more months...no problem!" Suddenly, I look at the calendar and 4 months have passed. Whoa, slow down, I'm not ready! Everyone is asking me about the nursery and showers and everything else and I am starting to feel a little overwhelmed. I feel like there is so much to get done before "the bug" is born, and I don't even know where to start! We did order a dresser to match a shelf we already have in the now guest room, soon to be nursery. So, I guess we will have a changing table in about a week. Now, we just have to figure out what color to paint the nursery; I will probably have to write an entirely new entry about this issue because Brady and I are definitely not on the same page!

This is probably going to sound silly, but it really hit me how much our lives are about to change when I started thinking about Christmas. Last year was our first Christmas as newlyweds, this year we will have a baby! Can you believe that! The next time I will see a number of my relatives, I won't just be pregnant, I will have a child. The next time my mom and I go shopping the day after Thanksgiving, we will be bringing a baby along! I just can't get over how much things are going to change.

I hope that Brady and I will be closer than ever and really stick together when we are both tired from all of the late nights. It is kind of scary to think that your relationship is going to change along with everything else. Brady isn't just going to be my husband, he's going to be the father of my child. I can't imagine loving him anymore than I do, but I know that the moment I see him holding the bug, I will. Life is just amazing!

No, I'm not having twins...

So it all started when I went to class on Thursday night. All of my classmates oohed and awed and giggled at my belly. That didn't bother me, but then came the comparisons; "oooh, it's so big," and "it is so much bigger than T's was!" Ok, ok, I get it. I'm starting to show and my round little belly is definitely protruding through my clothing. I know I'm pregnant and I know this means that I am going to gain weight, but lately I feel like I'm bigger than I should be. It didn't help that when attending festivities with my husband's family this weekend, they continued to ask me if I am having twins. Ok, so granted, they only asked because they knew I was worried and yes, usually I would have found this hilarious. It also didn't help when both my mom and my mother in law reminded me that they each gained less than 15 pounds total. Wow, that is great, thanks. ha. Well, I've had an epiphany. I'm different, I'm getting fat, and I'm having a baby. Now, pass the fries!

Daycare dilemma solved

I always knew that I would go back to work after having kids, but when I actually got pregnant, I realized that I kind of wanted to stay home for a year or so. This however, is not an option. Because we were not planning on kids right now, and because I am in the middle of interviewing for a new job, I am definitely going back to work. This brought on so many new emotions about leaving my child with someone else. It is so scary to think that just six weeks after giving birth I am going to leave my baby for someone else to take care of. How do I trust this person? How do I know my baby will be safe? Oh my goodness so many things to think about!

After coming t the realization that I really did have to start looking, I called every preschool I could think of and asked for referrals. I also asked anyone I know who had kids. One by one I called every place and one by one, they all told me they were full in the fall. Apparently, everyone and their dog is having a baby this fall!! Next I called one of those chain day care facilities (definitely in a time of desperation). Not only was I apprehensive about sending my child there, but they were $100 more per weeks than the home daycare providers. Holy cow! I am in the wrong profession!

Feeling somewhat stressed, I talked to a friend of mine who lives in my home town, a suburb of the city I live in. She has a wonderful provider who is also very reasonable, and guess what?!? She is now saving "the bug" a spot, yippee!!!

Last night I kissed James Van Der Beek!

Oh my goodness, I know it sounds crazy but it is true. Last night I was in a play with my friend, Rory Gilmore and one scene required me to kiss James Van Der Beek! Ok, ok, so it might not be entirely true. If you picked up on Rory from the Gilmore girls, you probably realized that it was a dream. Dang it!

These crazy dreams are keeping me up at night and making me question my sanity. For example, the night before last, I was forced to be weighed, with one foot backwards, wearing a bottom showing hospital gown, in front of a waiting room filled with my high school class, AHHH! I woke up in a cold sweat not only from embarrassment, but also because I had gotten into a high-school argument with my best friend! The night before that I solved a murder; yep, and honest to God dead person was at my feet and I got to figure out who dun'it!

I know you must be thinking that I am crazy (and your not alone), but everything I have read says that this is normal. Ok, so maybe my overactive imagination pushes it to the brink of normal, but close enough. I think I might use this to get the rest of my friend to get pregnant; kiss celebrities and create your own tv drama every night, wahoo!

Hello Chubby!

So, I'm mad. My husband would say that is my new favorite phrase because anytime something doesn't go my way (which seems to be more often lately), I simply say, "I'm mad." Most recently, I am mad that I am fat. Last week, my father-in-law so eloquently stated that I was "pooching out"! Oh, and I was mad. I tried to pretend that I was kidding, but I didn't do a very good job. However, his comment did make me take a long, critical look in the mirror, and I'm not going to lie...I did not like what I saw.

I'm fat. I'm fat and I'm mad because I don't look pregnant, I just look chubby. I know that I am being slightly obsessive, but no one tells you about this phase you go through where you don't look pregnant, but you do have this extra weight around your middle. I don' t know if I was thinking that I would miraculously wake up one morning and have a cute little baby bump, well, it doesn't work that way. Also, and I know this is partly hormones, but I feel like everyone is staring at me. It makes me want to wear a sign around my neck that says "yes I'm fat, but I'm pregnant".

Last weekend we were going to a wedding and all of the dresses I wanted to wear were fitted around the middle. So of course, all I could think about was people staring at me and thinking that I was chubby. This was still at a point where no one at the wedding knew so I made my husband tell his friends that night so they wouldn't just think I was fat. I am crazy, and I know this, so it is ok!

So anyway, just so you know I am fat, but it is ok, because I'm pregnant!

Define "morning sickness"...

I think I am confused. Lately, everyone has commented on how lucky I am that I don't have morning sickness, and in addition to my luck, that I am probably having a boy.

Okay, now, I am not saying that I would be disappointed if I have boy, but you have to know what I am up against. My husband is one of two boys, his dad is one of five. It is not only on his side either, my dad is one of three boys. I am at the point where I feel that if my first child is not a girl, I don't stand a chance. Not that all boys would be bad, I would be very happy, but come on...every mother wants a little girl just as badly as every father wants a little boy. I am actually really exciting about the thought of having a little boy who looks like my husband running around someday.

Determined not to let this old wives tale spell out my fate before I hit my second trimester, I turned to google. I love google; you can find answers to almost anything! Upon looking, I found many definitions of morning sickness, and all of them said you do not have to be physically ill to experience it...YES!!! This sounds ridiculous, but knowing that my twisted stomach and dizzy spells constitute morning sickness, I was ecstatic!! I could still have a girl! Yay!

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I probably should have just looked up whether there was a connection to morning sickness and girls. I did, and there's not. So, to all of you mothers out there turning to your stomach every morning for the answer to your child's gender, rejoice! It doesn't matter!! For now, it is still a surprise!

You guessed it!

I am pregnant, and while that may not seem like it should be that much of a shock, let me give you an idea of who you're dealing with.

My husband and I just got married seven months ago, and we always pride ourselves on being planners; carefully thinking out every decision. Ha.
Graduate college, check;
Get jobs, check;
Buy a house, check;
Wait to have sex until marriage, check; (thank goodness, otherwise this blog would be called "knocked up and getting hitched!)
Get married, check;
Wait five years to have kids, che....whoa not so fast, you're having a baby...now!!!
We have come to realize that our planning is God's way of making sure he gets a good belly laugh when he switches things up!

Two weeks ago, everything was different. We were talking about taking a trip to Mexico with friends of ours in June.

"Isn't it great that we can travel right now while we don't have kids," says my husband. Ha.

Two days later hecomes home to me crying while watching "Waitress." By the way, this is the worst movie to watch if you think you are pregnant. I convinced myself that it just wasn't possible the day before (I was on the pill), but after the movie I wasn't so sure. My husband didn't seem too concerned which made me feel better...for about an hour. I called my best friend, Jamie. She also told me that I probably wasn't pregnant, but if it would make me feel better, to go and get an at-home test. I did, both of those were positive. So...instead of believing them, I went and got two more, positive again, ahhh! After four tests, I was beginning to get the picture, but my husband wasn't. He said the tests were too vague and he wanted to wait until I saw a doctor. Two days later, it was official, I was 6 1/2 weeks pregnant. Holy cow!!

We both dealt in different ways. I talked constantly to my friends and mom, and he bought a TV. Yep, a big, LCD, flat screen television. I call it his, "oh my God, I'm going to be a dad" TV!

We told our parents, siblings and a couple of our closest friends right away. I'm not exaggerating at all when I tell you that they were all way more excited than we were at first. This helped; we needed people to tell us how great it was going to be so we would start to believe it too!

As you can imagine this is definitely changing things. We are now saving for a child-friendly vehicle rather than a vacation. I can't lie, I am pretty excited about this part....I've always wanted to be a soccer mom and now I get to get my SUV early, wahoo! I know, I am such a tool! I also catch my husband looking at houses in a nearby suburb; I think he's afraid we are going to have to send the kid to school out of the womb!

So, we are now planning in a whole new way, but we are determined to have fun and I promise to keep you updated as we go along!!